Meditations & Thoughts
Navy Seals, Business Moguls, Entrepreneurs. The list continues and they are all using personal development and self help strategies that sound like fru fru fairies and tree huggery. How do we separate the successful methods for self improvement from the stereotypes that cause so many people to stray away from or shun these pursuits and conversations. I mean what guy is comfortable being open and honest with people about this stuff? It probably applies to most women but I can't speak for them. The reality is, its a human problem and all I can say is the facade people create to hide from these conversations is the real issue.
Its weird to have a normal conversation about your feelings toward your career, or talking to people about your bliss and passion in life because when you really dig in they may end up being different things. Part of the problem is it might make you feel like you don't know what you're doing. It makes you self conscious if you are talking to someone who "has it all together" and loves their job because maybe you don't. These are such personal and foundational aspects to those that care and to the many unaware and unfulfilled. The question remains, what lights your fire and gets you going? What's your purpose and what legacy will you leave behind? Do you know or have you asked yourself any of this? They're all great questions but not enough people examine them for personal significance or meaning to their life. Consciously tackling these questions of meaning is considered hippy tree huggery. It seems to be a conversation reserved for those in the world that don't have a target in mind. They don't have a life mission and then quickly get segregated into the unprofessional nonconformist cast. Society assumes we already have these questions answered. I know I've been to the bookstore enough times in the shamed "self help" section to know better than that. The section exists for a reason and there are a million of us looking for the slightest insight into the questions philosophers, Navy Seals, and so many top performers pursue. Tim Ferriss a New York Times Best Selling author of the 4 Hour Workweek talks about what the point of it all is, "-to love, be loved and never stop learning-." He's a very successful angel investor in companies like Facebook, Twitter, and the list continues, but the point is if this guy is plagued by these questions should we feel self-conscious because we haven't found the answers for ourselves yet? NO. Lets be honest many great philosophers have spent their life ruminating on these questions without ever finding an answer. Example number 2 of a highly successful entrepreneur and all around bad ass. Commander Mark Divine is a retired Navy Seal who after a lifetime of success has created a program that prepares the worlds scariest and most elite military force in the world, the Seals. He also teaches these techniques and practices to every day people just trying pay the bills, let alone survive in the world's most hostile environments. He has taught me many things in a short period of time and is partially to blame for my desire to improve myself and become a better person. I probably would have chuckled at these ideas that I now view to be crucial aspects of growth and change. But I listened when they came from a Navy Seal. It allowed me to move beyond the fru fru fairy and tree huggery to see the true value beneath. This opened the door to so many other people with similar things to say that I may never have found otherwise. Entrepreneur guru Gary Vaynerchuk illuminates the idea of passion in his book Crush It, "you get up every morning, every single morning, you are pumped because you get to talk about or work with or do the thing that interests you the most in the world." Do you know what that is for you? For many finding their passion is easy. They know exactly what they want to be as soon as they start walking but its not that simple for everyone. Maybe you love numbers and want to be a mathematician, a veterinarian, or a fire fighter. All solid choices but there's also a large number of people who think they know only to find it not fulfilling later down the road. For some that takes a great many years to realize and others significantly less. It surely happens to countless people all over the world slowly becoming dissatisfied with a job, life circumstances or any number of paths that began in an amazing passionate zeal. This leads people back to square one and requires them start questioning or searching. Its not an easy thing to figure out but its something everyone needs to figure. So why not find something that doesn't blur the lines between being and doing. Find your life through your own truth something that isn't a job or a hobby. Find something like Gary V. says that pumps you up to get up and do something your excited to share every day and is never "work" it's who you are. You do you! How do you find out who that is and what that really is to you. The only real way to figure it out is by doing it. Giving it a shot and embrace everything that sprouts from your discovery. So should we stick to having these conversations in private after a few beers probably hoping it doesn't come up the next day. Should we continue to ruminate on these ideas strictly in our own minds and self doubts? Or maybe in an anonymous platform online. Human connection and airing real feelings and concerns is something both difficult and necessary to examine. Blaze your own trail and figure out the fire you want to foster and blaze on. The idea behind this entire website is to find ways to improve ourselves and be better than we were the day before. How can we do that without looking into ourselves? We need to get past the stereotypes associated with this conversation and we need to look at the dark corners of our soul in search of a higher personal meaning. That's how we will uncover a higher purpose for our actions? I challenge every person who has actually made it this far in this article to really look at yourself with compassion and love. Another cheesy sounding phrase that once embraced can be very impactful to anyone willing to delve into the reservoirs beneath. Realize that you can become so much more than you already are but it will require you to arrive at a place that will let you look at yourself in a different light. You'll have to remember it may sound goofy but the underlying value is so much more important. Are you looking up or looking back. Realize there is opportunity in every moment to come closer to who you are and rise higher than the stereotypes. Looking for the reality within yourself and connecting to a mission that is more powerful than strictly existing. Finding what really matters to you and what gets you up in the morning. That thing that lights you up. This is the biggest obstacle to personal growth and "self help". If we can't help ourselves why would anyone else? Why would any one else try? I'm not saying refuse help but realize the most powerful help or positive change we can ever accept is the kind we give ourselves. It begins with compassion and love and leads to understanding and awareness then, maybe then, we'll know.
0 Comments
They say you are the average of the 5 people you hang out with most. Or so I've heard for years and years. One day it finally hit me and I really sat down and thought about what the age old saying meant and what my average really was. I realized I wanted to elevate my average no matter where it sat. I wasn't quite sure how to make it happen and had no idea how was I going to get all of these incredible people to spend time with me. If I could, I might learn a thing or two.
Then it all began. I started looking for the best and the brightest, the smartest people I could manage to sit in the same room as. I wanted to hear the thoughts and ideas of people who, as far as I'm concerned, have it all figured out. I began a quest to sit with the greatest minds available. So I started listening to podcasts related to any subject matter I felt would help me grow and learn. I was looking for the guide book to becoming James Bond or Leonardo Da Vinci. I wanted to learn something new everyday and grow into, well, the most interesting man in the world. If I could. Without a manual I just started to absorb anything I could get my hands on. In the same vein as Marcus Aurelius "Our life is what our thoughts make it". I began to study mindfulness. The notion of paying attention to my thoughts to become the observer. This gave me the space and awareness to view my thoughts differently than ever before. I was able to see my thoughts, direct them, and choose how I would let them affect me. Andy Puddicombe in his TED Talk on meditation sums up this idea perfectly, "We can't change every little thing that happens to us in life, but we can change the way we experience it". I began to appreciate things I never had the slightest idea about and this lead me to deep insights about myself. But that's barely even a start...most interesting man in the world... my ass. He knows everything there is about how to pick up the ladies... haha... but really who doesn't want to learn the art of seduction? So I started listening to a podcast on dating and understanding what women wanted what they like or didn't like. Its a long story and I could tell you exactly but I wouldn't want to divulge all the secrets. If you didn't catch my sarcasm let me be clear I have no idea! What I did learn was that connection with people is pretty much the same no matter who you are looking for. Authenticity is a centerpiece to this and crucial for all relationships whether it be friends or otherwise. Then I wanted to learn more about becoming an entrepreneur so I downloaded a million different podcasts on getting a business started and slowly began absorbing those. I'm thick headed so there were a lot of those. I really loved listening to how other people come up with ideas how they make them work and how they accelerated their lives into one everyone wishes for. I became a voracious consumer of any and all audio I could find. I have never been much of a reader but I could listen to a podcast or a book while I drove to work or went for a run. I haven't figured out how to fall asleep while running so that helped keep my mind off the running, which I really didn't like at first, and focused on whichever audio I started. This was my network and the average of 5 I created for myself. I really and truly devote hours and days to the consumption of powerful ideas and its worked out really well because except for my audio books it was all free. There are so many experts on so many different subjects the free information available is nearly impossible to fully digest. The real idea here is, there is nothing stopping you from creating and boosting your own personal average of 5. Just be aware of the 5 people you hang out with most and be aware of what that might be doing to your average. I'm well on my way and have tons more to learn but hopefully this is helped someone's average. |